


Conflicted Sides

by postalone



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cousin Incest, F/M, There's the Warning, bc that would entail incest soo, but its also not intended to be a romantic fic, so reader met kylo when she was thirteen sooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 09:01:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13163640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postalone/pseuds/postalone
Summary: [imagine going to kylo for assurance in the First Order when you begin to struggle between the light and dark side]





	1. An Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This can be seen as a romantic one-shot, but that would also result in incest soo, it’s your call. I'm labeling this as two broken souls trying to find comfort in each other and also happen to be related. I also posted this on my tumblr, imagining-starwars

You try to clear your mind. You try to ignore the various voices screaming at you, but you can’t. Meditation is meant to allow you to reach a deeper state of relaxation, but instead, your heart is racing and your mind is thinking of a dozen different things. When you open your eyes, you see her; your mother. You’ve heard very little about her. She was a Jedi, as your father, but Snoke killed her when he took you as a child.  _“My love,”_ She says in a soft voice and a smile on her lips.

In a panic, you stop floating and fall harshly to the metal ground. You look up and try to find your mother’s force ghost, but she’s nowhere to be seen. You stand and exit the meditation room, not trusting yourself to be alone. Your mother’s force ghost has appeared to you previously; every time when you were questioning your position in the First Order. 

You are now walking to Kylo’s quarters. He will help you find your place. Snoke forged a bond between you and Kylo. Snoke took you from your parents when you were merely six years old and moved you from planet to planet to assure your father would never find you. In your travels, Snoke began to teach you the ways on the dark side of the force. You don’t remember your father, but you know he’s still out there. Some nights, you wish he would save you from the life you were forced into…

You shake those thoughts away and knock on Kylo’s door. He opens it and looks down at you with furrowed eyebrows. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be meditating.” Kylo states. 

“I saw her again.” You tell him and he allows you in his quarters. “She was clearer this time.” You add. “I’m scared.” You mutter, not looking him in the eyes.

“Of what?” He questions. 

“Failing you.” You tell him. You are his padawan, but you both serve Snoke. 

“You can’t fail me.” He replies. 

“Then we’ll fail Snoke.” You state. “I hate him.” You mutter. “He’s nothing but a monster. I hate working for him. I hate murdering innocent beings, and I hate being force sensitive.” You admit, nearly on the verge of tears. With every mission given to you and Kylo by Snoke, you can feel the pain in the beings that you’ve killed. 

“Shh.” Kylo hums and pulls you into a hug. Even if you’ve known him since you were thirteen, you’ve rarely ever seen Kylo show any emotion other than anger. So it is a surprise to you when he shows compassion and pity towards you. 

He understands the struggle you are currently going through. When he murdered his father, he instantly regretted it, but it had to be done. He had to prove himself to Snoke, but he hates himself for killing his own father. Kylo wants to help you, but there isn’t anything he can say that would help. 

Snoke says you come from a family of Jedi, so Kylo understands your struggle. “What do you remember about your mom?” Kylo asks you. He finds comfort in holding you and having you so close to him. 

“She was beautiful.” You close your eyes and try to remember your mom before you were taken. “Strong and powerful.” Your lips form a smile. 

“Do you remember your dad?” Kylo asks. 

“No.” You say and pull away from Kylo, feeling ashamed. “I dream that he’ll show and save me from this.” You admit in shame to Kylo. He doesn’t know what to say, but he knows what would happen if he were to report to Snoke. You’d be punished for having those thoughts, and Kylo couldn’t bear seeing you in pain. 

“Do you know anything about him?” You ask Kylo, and he shakes his head. Snoke is very secretive about your lineage. All that Kylo knows is your family is strong with the force. “Have you ever thought of leaving?” You ask as you would find reassurance if your master had questioned is position in the First Order. 

“Yes.” Kylo answers in honesty. “But thoughts are just thoughts.” He tells you. “Get some rest. Snoke wants to meet with you tomorrow.” Kylo informs you and you nod. 

“Thank you, master.” You tell him and he nods. You then turn around and leave his quarters. 

* * *

“She’s been seeing her mother,” Kylo informs Snoke. Kylo senses your fear, afraid of what Snoke will do to you when he knows you’ve been thinking of betraying the First Order. “She’s afraid of betraying you, Supreme Leader,” Kylo states, attempting to protect you from Snoke’s wrath. 

“She is like her mother.” Snoke states and looks at you with a smile. You lower your head and kneel. “And like her mother, she will serve the Dark Side,” Snoke assures Kylo and you. You are grateful that Snoke has faith that you will not betray the First Order, but a part of you want to leave everything behind and find solitude on an island far away from the First Order and the Rebellion. “Mara Jade served the Emperor before betraying the Empire. I have assured that Y/N will not repeat her mother’s traitorous actions.” Snoke announces.  _Mara Jade_ , your mother’s name. You remember that name and you smile at that sound of her name.

“Supreme Leader, if I may ask, who is Y/N’s father?” Kylo asks, causing you to raise your head and look at Snoke. 

“Are you truly this naive?” Snoke questions and laughs at Kylo’s stupidity. “Y/N’s father is Luke Skywalker,” Snoke answers Kylo’s question. “She is a Skywalker, as you are.” Your heartbeat races and you feel like you’re about to faint.  _Luke Skywalker_. 

The infamous Luke Skywalker. He’s your father, and when you had just a slim bit of hope, Snoke rips it from your soul. “It’s it sad that you hoped your father would one day save you? Luke Skywalker is in hiding. He isn’t trying to save you. He doesn’t care.” Snoke tells you, causing your eyes to water. “You are nothing to him,” Snoke says, causing your heart to break. “But you’re everything to me.” He adds and tears fall from your eyes, causing Snoke to give you a look of disgust. “Ren, take her out of here.” Snoke orders. 

* * *

“All I’ve ever thought about was my dad saving me and taking me somewhere far away. I thought that he was looking for me, but he isn’t. He doesn’t care about me.” You cry into Kylo’s shoulder and he wraps his arms around you. Hearing you cry breaks his heart, and he can feel your pain. 

Even if your dad is the man that tried to kill him when he was younger, he feels pity for you. Kylo had a choice in joining Snoke; you were ripped from your home. Snoke killed your mother; Kylo choice to kill his father. 

“I don’t belong here, Kylo.” You whisper. You’re scared and broken. “I don’t care about the First Order or the Rebellion. I just want to be left alone and die alone. There’s nothing for me here, nobody cares about me. All Snoke wants is my power.” You admit to Kylo.

“I care about you,” Kylo admits. 

“Then help me leave.” You ask him. 

“Y/N - ”

“If you really care about me, help me escape this hell.” You beg him. He looks into your sad, tear-filled eyes, and for a slim second he agrees to help you, but he knows you’ll be a vital part of his plan to seize control from Snoke. 

“I will not betray our Supreme Leader.” Kylo manages to utter and uses the force to grip your throat. He can’t look into your eyes as he force-chokes you into an unconscious state. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imagine reuniting with your father after thirteen years and also being a part of the first order

“When I was on Starkiller Base, I saw a girl there. For a brief moment, I was able to enter her mind and I saw you.” Rey explains to Luke. You were beside Kylo when he was torturing her, and you hated every second of it. Rey knows that you hated every second of it because you are the one that helped her escape the base. “Her name was Y/N,” Rey informs Luke. “Leia told me she is your daughter,” Rey says. 

“My daughter died.” Luke states. He spent a decade searching for you after Snoke took you. After Mara died, Luke was alone. His only mission was to find you. The only thing that kept him going was the connection he had with your through the force, but he failed. Snoke came to him when he was weak and alone and showed him your corpse. Luke wouldn’t have believed Snoke, but the connection in the force was gone. He could no longer feel you, and he was broken. 

“I saw her on Starkiller Base. She helped me escape.” Rey informs Luke. “There’s still good in her.” Rey states. “If you come with me, we can save her from Snoke before it’s too late.” Rey tries to convince Luke into leaving with her.

“It’s already too late,” Luke says.

* * *

After days of being chained in a room on the Finalizer, you manage to escape. While Kylo and Rey are with Supreme Leader Snoke, you succeed in finding a ship to escape. Just as the Raddus crashes using hyperspace into the Finalizer, you escape. You witness the Finalizer being ripped in half, but still feel Kylo’s energy. 

As soon as he senses you, he tries to form a connection, and you do your best to stop him.  _“I killed him. I killed Snoke.”_

“You did it for you, Kylo. You did it to gain power. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.” You state. “And I want nothing to do with it. I’ve hurt millions of beings throughout the galaxy, and I will not serve you.” You inform him. 

_“You are mine! We are meant to rule together!”_

You try your best to shut him out, and you set course to the nearest planet, Crait. There, you’ll hopefully find another ship, because traveling in a TIE Fighter wouldn’t be the best way to stay undercover. 

* * *

You crash land onto Crait and escape from the burning ship. Unbeknownst to you, you landed right in front of an old Alliance base just before the Resistance or the First Order got there. You walk into the base with no problem and try to find a working ship. 

In a matter of minutes, Resistance fighters show up at the base and you greet with your red lightsaber, ready to fight. They aim their blasters at you and you can sense the fear within them. They’re the last of their kind. The last of the Resistance. You turn off your saber then throw it aside. “I’m not here to fight.” You tell them. The small group of rebels moves aside as their general walks towards the front. 

You can feel the force within her, and immediately, you know she is Kylo’s mother. She’s your father’s sister and your aunt. “Y/N.” She says, knowing who you are. She walks towards you, even when everyone tells her to stop. “I’m sorry.” She whispers when she is close to you. You don’t understand why she’s apologizing.

“I’m scared.” You state and she pulls you into a warm and loving hug. “Snoke told me Luke is my dad.” You tell Leia. “He told me Luke doesn’t care about me.” You say on the verge of tears. 

“Snoke lied to you. When you were taken, Luke spent years trying to find you. Snoke told him you were dead.” Leia informs you. 

“He made me into a monster.” Tears fall from your eyes. “Kylo manipulated me and they made me kill. I trusted Kylo…I never wanted this.” You admit to her and she holds you close. 

“You’re not a monster,” A voice says. You turn and see a hooded figure walking towards you and Leia. The figure removes its hood and Leia says, Luke. “It’s not your fault,” Luke says as he stands in front of you and Leia. He looks at you with such hope. You’ve grown into a strong and beautiful woman, just like your mom.  

“There’s so much I want to say, I just wish there was more time.” You tell your dad, tears forming. 

“It’s okay. This is all my fault.” Luke states. “I should have never stopped looking for you.” He sighs. “I’m just glad to finally see my daughter.” Luke gives you a sad smile. “Leia, I’m sorry,” Luke tells his twin. 

“I know, I know. I’m just glad you’re here, at the end.” Leia responds. 

“I’m here to stop him, Leia. I can’t save him.” Luke explains. 

“I had held hope for so long, but I know my son’s gone. At least you got to meet your daughter.” Leia smiles at you. Luke cups your cheek and plants a kiss on your forehead. 

“I have faith in you,” Luke tells you and tears fall from your eyes. You know that is will be the last time you’ll be seeing him. Something inside you knows that he won’t survive this fight, and your heart breaks. 

“You don’t have to do this.” You tell him. 

“I do,” Luke says. He can’t destroy Kylo Ren, but he can give the Resistance enough time to escape. In a moment of doubt, he pushed Ben into Snoke’s arms, and he will never forget that, but he can save the dream. 

* * *

“I failed you, Ben. I’m sorry.” Luke apologizes.

“I’m sure you are!” Kylo shouts. “The Resistance is dead! The war is over! And when I kill you, I would have killed the last Jedi.” Kylo spits. 

“Amazing, every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.” Luke smiles as an image of you helping Rey move the rocks appears in his head. You made it out alive. 

“I’ll destroy her. I’ll make Y/N mine!” Kylo shouts. “I’ll destroy you, and all of it.” He threatens. 

“No,” Luke shakes his head. “Strike me down in anger and I will always be with you. Just like your father.” Luke states, and he’s content. Luke’s able to be one with the force knowing that you and Rey and Leia will keep the dream alive.             


End file.
